Recently, we experienced a rare and beautiful eclipse of the sun. We were warned, repeatedly, about looking directly at the eclipse. Some, actually many, bought glasses made for this rare occurrence. I’d like to inject at this point, I only wish I’d had some glasses to sale. I wouldn’t have to work for the next year. But, that’s beside the point and I will leave to your own cursory.
With each and every advisory that came across the television screen my family, neighbors, in-laws, outlaws and those around my fair city, took heed to the warning. Especially, my dear, dear friend who shall, for all intent and purposes, remain forever nameless.
Yesterday, she came to me with a tenebrous sprit. One look at her and I knew she had something on her mind that was about to be dropped on me. I backed up and to my dismay, I discovered there was absolutely no way to escape whatever it was she had to say, so I sat down and invited her to do the same.
Her foreboding and gloomy spirit continued through the pouring of a dark and aromatic cup of coffee and finally she set her burden free.
“I think I looked at the eclipse too long and have damaged my eyes.” She said with a contrite expression on her face.
“Oh, and what symptoms are you having that make you think that?” I inquired.
“I haven’t seen well since that day. Everything is blurry, unclear, out of focus.” She replied.
“Have you experienced any black spots that seem to float across your eyes or anything like that?” I inquired.
“No.” She replied.
“OK, well do you have problems seeing up close or far away?” I continued to inquire in a doctor like manner. “
“Mostly, up close. I can see pretty well, far off. Yeah, definitely up close is where the problem is.” She answered.
“Have you been to an eye doctor yet?” I asked.
“No, I’m just so nervous and afraid to go.” She replied.
Knowing that my dear, dear friend had a slight degree of hypochondria, I handed her my reading glasses and said, “Here you go, put these on and see if they help.”
She took them from my hand and plopped them on her face while declaring, “I’ve never had to wear eye glasses before. Not ever. Oh my God, do you think I’ve damaged my eyes so badly that I will now have to have glasses?” She shrieked.
“No, I just think you’ve had enough birthdays now that you’ve joined the rest of us. Age does that to you. It just slips up and blind sides you and wa-la, one day you’re just getting older. Welcome to my world.” I smiled.